The Astounding-Analog Reader Volume 1 by Harry Harrison & Brian W. Aldiss

Author:Harry Harrison & Brian W. Aldiss [Harrison, Harry & Aldiss, Brian W.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 0385023340
Publisher: Doubleday
Published: 1972-01-02T21:00:00+00:00

So I trotted up the ramp to the main floor and went to the deputy vice’s office and then I thought: “I’ve got a big thing here, why bother with the small fry?” I did a turnabout and went straight to the controllers suite. I knew it would be tough to get in because the controller has live secretaries—no voders. He also happens to have four receptionists. Beautiful, but tough.

The first never saw me. I breezed right by and was in the second anteroom before she could say: “What is it, pa-lee-azz?” The second was warned by the bang of the door and grabbed hold of my arm as I tried to go through. I got past anyway, with two of them holding on, but number three added her lovely heft and I bogged down. By this time I was within earshot of the controller so I screamed: “Down with Stability!”

Sure I did. I also shouted: “Stability is all wrong! I’m for Chaos. Hurray for Chaos!” and a lot more like that. The receptionists were shocked to death and one of them put in a call for emergency and a couple of guys hanging around were all for boffing me. I kept on downing with Stability and fighting toward the sanctum sanctorum et cetera and having a wonderful time because the three girls hanging on to me were strictly class and I happily suffocated on Exuberant No. 5. Finally the controller came out to see what made.

They let go of me and the controller said: “What’s the meaning of this? … Oh, it’s you.”

I said: “Excuse it, please.”

“Is this your idea of a joke, Carmichael?”

“No, sir, but it was the only quick way to get to you.”

“Sorry, Carmichael, but it’s a little too quick.”

I said: “Wait a minute, sir.”

“Sorry, I’m extremely busy.” He looked worried and impatient all at once.

I said: “You’ve got to give me a moment in private.”

“Impossible. See my secretary.” He turned toward his office. “Please, sir—”

He waved his hand and started through the door. I took a jump and caught him by the elbow. He was sputtering furiously when I swung him around, but I got my arms around him and gave him a hug. When my mouth was against his ear I whispered: “I’ve been upstairs in the Prog Building. I know!”

He stared at me and his jaw dropped. After a couple of vague gestures with his hands he motioned me in with a jerk of his head. I marched straight into the controller’s office and almost fell down dead. The stabilizer was there. Yeah, old Jehovah Gloating himself, standing before the window. All he needed was the stone tablets in his arms—or is it thunderbolts?

I felt very, very sober, my friends, and not very smart any more because the stabilizer is a sobering sight no matter how you kid about him. I nodded politely and waited for the controller to shut the door. I was wishing I could be on the other side of the door.

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